Because of Carson Moon Read online

  A sweet silence overtook the conversation and I lowered my head, batting my lashes. I imagined him blushing a little.

  “Okay.” He paused, “Oh, I got a present—and if you don’t have a costume, do you want to be a moon goddess?”

  “I don’t have a costume.”

  “So, moon goddess is okay?”

  “What’s a moon goddess and how does the costume look?”

  “The costume is sexy. Is there really anything else you need to know about it?”

  I smirked. “No. I guess not.”

  “So yes?”

  He’s being persistent.

  “Sure,” I said raising my eyebrows, humoring him with a playfully annoyed, smile and tone. “I’ll be a mood goddess.”

  “‘P-u-r-r-f-e-c-t.’”

  “Goodbye, Carson,” I said in an irritated, monotone voice and ended the call.

  He is such a dork. I couldn’t help but laugh.

  I sighed, dropped the phone on my bed, and stretched my arms in the air, forgetting about the video Carson had sent as I yawned. I closed my eyes and tilted my head to the left. I glanced down at the phone and pressed the screen on with the tip of my thumb. It’s seven o’clock already? Maybe I could use a break.

  I put my textbooks and notebooks away in my bag on the floor and pushed it next to my nightstand. A vision of Carson and his warm smile played in my head. Carson is so sincere sometimes. Like he’s not even twenty-five. But then on the other hand, he’s so light-hearted and playful. I’ve never met anyone like him before.

  A knock came at the door. I was sure it was him.

  “Coming,” I said, yelling from my room.

  “Me-ow-kay,” he said, from the other side of the door.

  Oh my God. I have a feeling this “cat” shit is going to give me a headache. He’d better be glad he has a big dick and a golden tongue. I’ll put up with pretty much anything.

  I opened the door to find him standing there proudly, one hand on his hip, foot extended and an arrogant sneer, a skintight, leather cat suit, furry cat ears in his messy, raven-colored waves, a black mask that looked like a figure eight over his eyes, the tip of his nose painted black and a silver studded collar around his neck where a small silver bell hung.

  Heh. I thought, glancing down at his bulge. Nice. I observed the details of his suit; a horizontal slat on each side of his chest with silver zippers, another zipper that traveled from his right shoulder blade down to the left side of his body. He wore something that looked like a utility belt around his waist, his thin, furry tail, clamped on the back of it somewhere. He also was wearing black Converse Chuck Taylors.

  “Me-ow.” He winked, his grin was a bit haughtier than usual as he gazed at me like he was a badass.

  I swallowed trying to keep my annoyance. What I really wanted was for him to kiss me and take me in his arms. That’s how I wanted to be greeted, but that was a fleeting thought. It was important that I continued with my uninterested, unamused act.

  I was slightly frustrated as I gazed at him, considering slamming the door in his dorky, black-cat-suit-wearing face. That was only because he looked so damn good in that cat suit.

  “Get the fuck in here, it’s not Halloween yet,” I said, playfully aggravated.

  He smirked as he walked in the house “Yeah, but it’s only a couple days away.”

  I couldn’t hold in my naughty thoughts as I checked him out from the back.

  Damn, he’s not that skinny, is he? He is sexy as fuck! I can see every curve and bulge he has ... nice ass. I bit my bottom lip. His body was even more flawless than I thought, even from behind. His shoulders were just broad enough to be perfect for his body shape, and the way his back curved down into his waist, put you in the mind of the physique of a superhero. And the little dimple at the small of his back was noticeable. I’ve only ever noticed it when he was naked. My eyes continued to check him out, his ass so perfect and firm and those athletic thighs of his. I couldn’t help but smirk as I closed the door. He was holding a white shopping back in his hand as he went into my room. I followed him inside and closed my door.

  He sat the bag down on the floor next to my bed then, effortlessly tossed himself in the middle of it, folding his arms behind his head. I stood there in a baggy tee shirt and orange hipster underwear with a yellow bow right underneath my belly button.

  Our eyes locked for a moment.

  I sighed, pursing my lips. He was right—it is manly, and sexy. I’m fucking him tonight—fuck that party, I thought winding my hips a little just thinking about him touching me.

  “What are you doing all the way over there?” he asked, with a barely sly expression. Those innocent eyes weren’t allowing him to look as mischievous as he probably thought he did. I grabbed my phone.

  “I have to take a picture.”

  He hopped up proudly to pose.

  I got a picture of him flexing his muscles, and another of him trying to be a sexy cat with his claws out and a couple other funny and cute poses. I giggled as I snapped the pictures. He sat down on the edge of my bed and pulled me onto his lap.

  “Take a picture of us,” he said.

  I turned the camera to front facing and right as I snapped the picture, he kissed my cheek.

  I was all smiles as I lifted myself off of his lap and he lay back down, arms crossed behind his head. I whacked him across his face out of sheer happiness and frustration, things I didn’t want to feel.

  I hate how adorable he is.

  He simply laughed as he stared at me. My heart could barely stay in a solidified form, he melted it almost every time we saw each other. But right before it would spill out of me, I hardened it. My smile faded quickly.

  “You’re not funny.” I frowned, keeping in my true feelings.

  “Then why were you smiling?”

  What was I going to say? Nothing. So I ignored the question and sat my phone down on my dresser.

  “Get over here.” He smirked with a boyishly, naughty grin of his.

  Heh.

  My hips began to sway as I made my way over to him.

  He lifted his eyebrow, animatedly.

  “M-e-o-w.”

  I slowly straddled him, his tightly sealed package underneath me.

  “Okay, kitty,” I said a bit above a whisper as I inched my fingers up his leather covered chest. Then I flicked my finger, ringing his bell.

  “Heh.” His dangerously innocent and moderately sly smile forced me to press my body into his, “You’re the kitty. I’m definitely a panther, r-e-o-w.” He stretched his long fingers forward as to release his claws.

  I hovered over his face and smiled affectionately at him as we gazed into one another’s eyes. His hands slowly slid up my thighs and under my baggy tee shirt.

  “You like it?” he asked in a seductively low tone, the breathiness of his voice, tingling my skin.

  “I’d like it more if it weren’t smothering your package.”

  He grinned, “Yeah it’s a little tight. Want to see your costume?”

  I sighed, disappointed.

  “Sure.” I sat back on my legs stifling an annoyed frown he didn’t seem to notice.

  I darted my eyes over to my dresser; he ruined the moment. He was being all sexy, he’s got on all leather and there’s a fucking belt he could tie me up with. I’m sitting on top of his dick in panties that are almost dripping wet for him, begging for him to rip them off me and he wants to show me a stupid ass costume?? What the fuck?

  I slid off his body as he rose off the bed to get the bag. I couldn’t help but watch his every move wishing he would be just a little dirtier than his usual lighthearted, suave talking self. Yes, he talked a really good game, but at the end of the day, I was convinced he was never going to throw me down on my bed and fuck me until I cried. That type of thing probably never even crossed his mind.

  I glanced to the left of me, pouting. If we do have sex tonight, it’s probably going to be on a bed of roses, listening to Kenny G. I scoffed
.

  It must have been loud because he darted his eyes up at me as he rummaged through the back.

  “What?” he looked at me, vulnerable.

  My eyes widened. Oh, shit! “Um... I was just thinking about my midterm.” I rolled my eyes crawling over to the edge of the bed and sitting on it, letting my legs dangle down the side. He’s so cool and quirky, but I’d never be able to tell him what I really want, he’d look at me differently. This is a good pace for him.

  “I can get your mind off of that. Don’t...” he said, dashing his eyes mischievously to one side of the room then the other, then back at me. “...Me-orry.”

  I giggled at his dorkiness.

  Yeah, definitely not getting fucked tonight. Not by this kitty. My lips pouted as I tilted my head, my hair falling down the side of my face, I pushed it behind my ear, ‘panther’ my ass.

  “Oh,” he said, pulling the moon goddess costume out of the white bag, “I have something else for you.” He smirked, handing the clear plastic, rectangular packaging to me.

  “You do?” I glanced at him and back at the costume. I took it out piece by piece. The lacy, silk body of the costume was tapered and the color of an off-white pearl. There were champagne colored pearls, a piece with a broach and an orbiting moon encased in brass in the middle. And then there was a tulle and organza skirt that was long in the back and shorter on the sides with white, off-white, and champagne colors in it and a sprinkle of off-white pearls across the fabric. Underneath it was a soft lilac like blue that circled the entire circumference of the skirt. When I glanced at the packaging, the silk strings that the skirt hung on were tied in a bow underneath the V-shape bottom of the corset-like upper half of the costume. And there was a lavender blueish flower with an off-white shiny pearl hair clip glued to it. I pulled out the last item. It was shiny off-white spandex shorts. No doubt to wear underneath the skirt.

  Cute.

  Whatever Carson was looking for in the bag he found it, “Got it,” he said pulling out a strangely shaped box that fit right in his hand. “Stand up. Close your eyes,” he instructed me.

  I smiled and did what he said.

  Would this be considered something... romantic? He’s such a loser. I thought that with a smile. But deep in the pit of my heart, I was happier than I had ever been. I covered that feeling up with sarcasm.

  “What are you doing, idiot?” I laughed off nervousness. After a few moments I heard a bit of rustling with maybe cardboard or paper, not sure.

  “So,” I said, standing there with my eyes closed and my hands folded in front of me, “Why did you want me to be a moon goddess? Why that costume?”

  “Well,” he said, the warmth of his body behind me, “You’re my goddess.”

  “Carson.” I couldn’t keep my eyes closed. I had to at least blink. I closed them back.

  He laughed, sexily, sending shivers down my spine. Warm tingles through my body, I wanted to fall right into his arms. I wanted him to hold me. I wanted to tuck my head under his chin, lay it on his chest like I was a princess and just stay there. But he’d never know that.

  “My last name is Moon. So, see if you’re a moon goddess then you’re my goddess.”

  He is so cheesy. I gleamed inside, though I dulled the light. Why do I think it’s so cute?

  “Okay.” I shrugged off what he said. “I get that, but why are you a black cat? Wouldn’t you want to be something that is dealing with the moon, if I’m your goddess?” I exaggerated my words. I just wanted to say it. “How high school is that?” I had slept with probably a whole football team of guys, maybe more, and there I was, suppressing a swoon over a guy I hadn’t ever slept with.

  A small bit of insecurity washed over me; my hands twiddled with each other.

  “Why would you want me to be your goddess?” I bet I know the answer, because he doesn’t know who I really am.

  “Because.” He paused. His hands rounded my head, a slight heaviness surrounded my neck as something cold and solid fell between my breasts. I reached for whatever that lay on my chest, “You’re not like any other girl I’ve ever met. You say exactly what you want, you’re effortlessly confident, and the way you look at me sometimes,” his body heat left from behind me and traveled in front of me, “makes me feel like I’m special.”

  I knew sometimes I stole glances, innocent once because I just wanted to look at him, but I put away all my longing for something I could never have. Why entertain it?

  I opened my eyes when he said that. I glanced up at him first, noting the detail of his black mask. His smile was so reverent I almost melted immediately.

  I lowered my eyes picking up the pendant at the end of, what I could see to be black leather necklace.

  “What’s this?” I asked anyway.

  “That is the Chinese symbol for Moon.”

  “Why are you giving it to me?”

  “The colors are the same colors in your costume, those soft lilacs that fade into blue. It matches.” He titled his head to the left with a crooked smile.

  “You didn’t answer my question, kitty.” I paused, “Why be a black cat?”

  “Heh.” He grinned so big I saw his pink gums. “Do you like the necklace?”

  I lowered my eyes. I couldn’t muster a smile. “You want me to wear all this moon stuff,” I gazed up apologetically into his eyes, “Do you understand I don’t want a boyfriend and I don’t want to be with anyone? I don’t want to belong to anyone. We’re just friends. I really like you but as friends. Do you understand that?”

  I couldn’t read his expression as his eyes burrowed into me.

  “So that means you can wear it, right? Because you don’t belong to anyone. And no one can claim you. It’s just a necklace with a symbol on it. A friendship necklace.”

  “A friendship necklace?” Asshole. Stupid fucking asshole. You have an answer for everything, don’t you? Tears welling up behind my eyes. I couldn’t let them escape.

  “Don’t you think our friendship is special?”

  My heart almost disappeared a little. I wanted to say something sarcastic, change the mood, but before I could force myself not to answer truthfully, I said, “I do.”

  Who is he? No one talks to girls like this. Especially girls like me. Why give me a necklace for any reason?

  “And... to answer your question,” he said, staring away from me, “Ever heard of moon flow?”

  “No.” I shook my head.

  “The black cat represents the power to create change by the absorption of light creating a void and connects you the moon flow, which is the cycle of the tides and nature.”

  I stared at him in awe. “Really?”

  “Um, maybe. But I just made up a bunch of bullshit—I just think the costume is badass.” He laughed, checking himself out.

  I rolled my eyes and sighed. Figures. He’s a dork.

  “At least your B.S. sounded legit.” I giggled.

  “Yeah,” he said staring at me thoughtfully. “Moon flow is real though, that has legitimately something to do with the power of change, but I couldn’t explain the theory unless I researched it. But right now, I’m more interested in doing some hands-on observations... On you.”

  Sometimes, he’s not so dorky.

  He took two steps toward me, tilted my chin upward, and laid his soft, cherry lips on mine. One kiss made my mind go blank. When his hand slid down to my neck, the thrill of being choked, almost passed through me. His grip was too soft as he slid his tongue past my lips. The warmth and wetness of his mouth, the slight minty taste of his tongue, even the sweet smell of his hair, drove me insane.

  I stepped forward and wrapped my arms around his neck as his arms wrapped around my lower waist and caressed the small of my back, his fingertips just barely touching my ass.

  I opened my eyes, moaning breathily. I instinctively squeezed his neck, pressing my fingertips deeply into his skin.

  “Are you going to say thank you for your gifts?” He smirked.

  “I’ll s
how you a thank you, my kitty cat,” I said, unzipping his costume, revealing his tight, divined chest and abs.

  “So...” he said, in a sexy low voice, “I can be yours, but you can’t be mine?”

  This time, his innocent nervousness didn’t linger in his tone. I smirked seductively and placed my index finger over his lips. “Hush, kitty.”

  The sides of his mouth curled into a playful smile as I pulled him by the collar over to my bed and laid him down.

  I loved his boyish grin. He stretched his arms in the air as I straddled him, moving his hands behind his head.

  “How’re you going to get me out of the suit?” he asked. The more mischievous his smile got, the breathier his voice got, and the innocence slipped away. There was only this sexy, menacing tone that drove me wild.

  Carson, are you a naughty boy? Are you just pretending to be good?

  I fluttered my lashes and unzipped the diagonal zipper down his chest. It stopped short of his pelvic bone. My eyes shifted to his, meeting his gaze. His impish grin made me want to punch him in a playfully, angry way.

  I huffed with tightly pursed lips, darted my eyes down to his chest and slid my index finger and thumb around his left nipple then I squeezed and twisted it.

  “Ah! Ah! Ah!” he groaned, laughing, his arms unfolding behind his head.

  “If you want to get laid tonight, kitty, take the fucking suit off,” I whispered semi-seductively, but also a little sadistically through my teeth while I twisted his nipple.

  Then I sat back with a sassy smirk on my face and folded my arms over my chest.

  That smile, that fucking smile, even though his face was a bit contorted and he held his chest, that gaze of his, calling out to me, I wanted him to look at me like that... forever. His boy’s smile slowly turned into a naughty one.

  Heh.

  He pulled his arms out of the sleeves. “All you had to do was ask nicely.”

  When his arms were free, I pushed him down on the bed.

  “I don’t play nice,” I said in a ravenous whisper.

  Still his grin was so full of mischief, I could have smacked it right off of his face.

  I was so hot for him, dripping wet from all the little things about him. I hoped with all this angst and his flirting, he’d just go ahead and ravage me. That’s all I wanted. Since he had come into my life, I spent more time with him than I did with Sawyer or Owen, mostly because he was relentlessly adorable and persistent. And because I could always count on him to orgasm me to sleep. This would be the defining moment of our relationship. There was no way I was getting rid of Sawyer—he did anything I wanted. Maybe I could break things off with Owen. Our sex was uneventful and monetarily satisfying—comfortable, familiar, safe. And he didn’t make me feel like Carson did, which was a double-edged sword. On one hand, Carson made me feel like my pink pearl was the prettiest pink pearl in the world, but that was just because he didn’t know what my pearl had been through. I knew I wasn’t good enough to be with a guy like him, and that’s what scared me.